So this is where it stands: I'm not writing anything that doesn't interest me deeply/profoundly/completely, that is, on a fundamental/essential Arwen level. Tried that. Finished that. Hated that. Learned the lessons and stuff. Biggest lesson: life is comparatively short, mental stability is worth PROTECTING, and I don't want to be a writer-for-hire. Unless the hiring involves the aforementioned criteria. And I'm not in that position. So I'm more than happy to look for salaried work outside of "my field" and write on my own time. Writing stuff I love. Bam. Period. The End.
THOUGH I WILL SAY that I'm not bitter or regretful about what I've done. It was part of my writerly education, to take on huge challenges. But writing, at least for me, is hard enough without warping myself into molds that just don't fit, so to speak. I think of the comment someone made to me, wondering if I could just find a way to enjoy writing. I have. I write about what fascinates me. And I've taken the stress out by no longer catering to the idea that I should make money from it or give it a lot of room/time to happen. I can write pretty much anywhere, and I don't need all day to do it. I do think it's wise to "follow your bliss", but I wish I had understood, earlier, that I can do that and also do other things as seriously. But, once again, I'm not bitter or regretful. I doubt I would've understood it earlier. So here's to education, and things eventually working their way into my understanding.
I'm writing about writing as a way to take a break before I dive into Act Two of my screenplay revision. It's going well. A heck of a lot better and easier than writing the first draft. Now that I know this I hopefully will not torture myself when I tackle my next screenplay. I love the particularities of this form, but screenwriting certainly can be a punishing taskmaster, at least in terms of "breaking the story" in that first draft. And man, my first drafts are nearly all crappy. But it's all good.
And it also helps to just write and edit on an actual physical copy. Which is awesome, because I have a long history of printing out drafts and then never touching them and just editing on my computer and then recycling those pages and feeling guilty about my part in ruining the environment. I have a box just for white paper and I take GREAT JOY in pulling out sheet after sheet and scrawling all over them with my terrible handwriting. :)
So anyways. Break over.